Being for the benefit of...
He had learned to live with the truth. Not to accept it, but to live with it. It was like living with an elephant. His room was tiny, and every morning he had to squeeze around the truth just to get to the bathroom. To reach the armoire to get a pair of underpants he had to crawl under the truth, praying it wouldn’t choose that moment to sit on his face. At night, when he closed his eyes, he felt it looming above him.
Nicole Krauss “The History of Love”
Yes/No/Maybe (Check One)

It is a truth universally acknowledged:
We are never to old
to feel like a child;
stuttering and shy,
completely unsure.
The biting your lip,
Wringing your hands,
Practicing lines,
Butterflies and sweaty palms
Kind of nerves.
You hold your breath
(and secretly cross your fingers)
Because everything depends on this
One
Word.
From fifty-five
all the way back to the monkey bars
Waiting on that yes
always feels the same.

7:23am

It comes in waves
Irregular and intense
Brought on by something simple and everyday
Waves that seem to say:
You’ve accepted this situation long enough
Now try this intensity on for size
Can you handle it?
Look at how ugly the world can be;
Look how beautiful.
Feel how alone you are?
Feel how surrounded?
Big moments seem smaller in comparison
Little ones become everything
You wonder how you could possibly handle any more
As you stretch to fit it all in, to make room

And as you adjust, the tide turns,
The wave recedes
The intensity is gone
You return to the ground
The day goes on

Enough

She says “I love you,”
But he knows it means more.

what she means is,
"Do you love me?

Please.
Love me.”

It’s too much
and just enough
and not enough.
He doesn’t understand how
It can be everything
at once.
He doesn’t understand how
she can be
so sure
and not sure enough.

He says “I love you too.”

what he means is,
"I hope
it’s enough.”

Vignette #27

On days when it gets really bad she stares out the window,
down the road,
around the corner
and far away.
She feels the sun on her face as she drives down the highway.
"You are now leaving New York" -
she starts to smile.
The roads widen,
the houses disappear
the skies grow overheard
no longer crowded and covered by buildings
and people and noises.
The weight in her chest starts to shrink.
She drives until she can’t
and then she walks.
Slowly and surely,
relishing the feeling of the earth
under her feet
and space around her.
She walks until she reaches the end of the road
then she steps carefully onto the grass,
or dirt,
or sand.
She lays down,
breathes in the world,
smiles at the sky
and closes her eyes.
When she opens them again
she is at the window,
staring down the road and
around the corner.

Campfire ladies sing this song  (Taken with Instagram)

Campfire ladies sing this song (Taken with Instagram)

Looking good, WTC (Taken with Instagram)

Looking good, WTC (Taken with Instagram)

Manhattan reflections (Taken with Instagram)

Manhattan reflections (Taken with Instagram)

#exhaustion (Taken with Instagram)

#exhaustion (Taken with Instagram)

Hello, beautiful  (Taken with Instagram)

Hello, beautiful (Taken with Instagram)

Oh, Alexander  (Taken with Instagram)

Oh, Alexander (Taken with Instagram)

Loving Shel Silverstein  (Taken with Instagram)

Loving Shel Silverstein (Taken with Instagram)

Feels like summer (Taken with Instagram)

Feels like summer (Taken with Instagram)

Free bird (Taken with instagram)

Free bird (Taken with instagram)